I'm best friends with Optimus Prime
The godfather of a cylon hybrid child
I ride my bicycle to work and i've never been a jerk
I've got a spare umbrella every time it's stormin'
and I'm a Mormon

Well when Luke went down to take out the death star
he flipped that targeting computer on
I was the voice inside his head sayin' "use the force instead"
I taught Green Day to live without warnin'
and I'm a Mormon

Well, your faith has been around for centuries
but mine just put my family on TV
Yeah I'm similar to you, just a little more improved
yeah the life I Iead's the one you've always wanted
And I'm a Mormon

When it was lookin' like all hope was lost
I captured all of Al-Queda inside a pokeball
yeah this might be big of me, but man i love polygamy
i really wish that kind of thing was normal
cause I'm a Mormon

And when aliens invaded the planet
and we didn't know if we would survive,
it was Will Smith and me fightin' for humanity
yeah our pop-up adds are anything but borin'
and I'm a Mormon

I'm just as middle class and happy as can be
maybe you've seen my commercials on tv
Havin' faith is so much fun yeah I'm tellin' everyone
that if having your own planet is important
become a mormon.

Well, your faith has been around for centuries
but mine just put my family on TV
Oh if he could just see me, Joseph Smith would be tickled pink
I wake up to a new wife every mornin'
And I'm a Mormon