I'm twenty-nine years old, still wearing the wallet chain,
like I was twenty-eight.
I'm wearing my Vans right now,
so high school kids will think that I can skate.
I've got a degree in science,
yet shaking my fists in defiance.

Anyway, I'm not clich?, I hardly own any ties.
I may be old, but at least I'm not like all those other old guys.

I'm watching MTV, for fashion tips,
so I can say, that I saw it first.
Backwards hat, tattoos,
and goatee say I'm cool, just like Fred Durst.
I pay almost all my bills, I sleep on a futon still.

(Anyway, I'm not cliche, I might not even die.
I may be old, but at least I'm not like all those other old guys.)