when i saw you at the grocery store you were sharing a shopping cart with her and i couldn't turn and run away i didn't know what to say you introduced us for the first time and i had to look her in the eye but you could not imagine my surprise can't you see you're leaving me for an ugly girl does she talk about politics and all the stuff that used to make me sick does she smoke cigars and stay up late oh she's so great does she tell you what you want to hear and i bet that she can grow a beard i'd feel better thinking you were queer it's not fair i can't compare to an ugly girl ha ha ha the jokes on me i feel jealous and i feel mean is she so nice that it makes up for her face there's no way do you have to keep your eyes closed do you have to keep the lights down low oh i bet you wish you had a blindfold can't you see you're leaving me for an ugly girl