If I had a yard I would play in it,
We could play in it, if we had a yard,
If we had a yard, if we had a yard.

On a sunny day I would play croquet,
In the early spring you could grow green things, (and purple flowers)
Should the children frown, we would hose them down.

If I had a yard I would play in it,
We could play in it, if we had a yard,
If we had a yard, if we had a yard.

Sleep outside at night, when the moon is bright,
Watch the laundry wave, dig the dog a grave, (in the garden)
Drink the acid rain 'til we go insane.

If I had a yard I would play in it,
We could play in it, if we had a yard,
If you had a yard, if I had a yard.